Discipline for kids - how to have kids you like to be around

One thing I think Eric and I do pretty well is disciplining our 2 year old, Kenny. The book that influenced me most in this was 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan. The title of the book refers to the main technique, which is that of counting misbehavior (1, 2, 3), and then when they hit 3, they get a timeout. But even though that's the title of the book, it's not the main theme. The main theme is that discipline needs to be straightforward, unemotional, and consistent. I know, easier said than done, but this book has some great guidelines.

One of my favorite sections is the distinction he draws between treating your kids like little adults (long detailed explanations of what they should or shouldn't do, lots of words) and treating them like wild animals (don't expect them to be at your mental/emotional level, use one or two words, especially when they're upset). Needless to say, he favors the parent acting as the wild animal trainer.

Our take on discipline is pretty much as follows:

• If there's something he shouldn't do that involves an object (i.e., banging something that shouldn't be banged), he gets a warning, "No banging, Kenny". If he continues to do it, the object goes into toy jail (the fireplace mantle), and he doesn't get it until the next day
• If the offense was particularly bad, like throwing something hard at someone, the object would go into toy jail, and he would get a timeout.
• A timeout consists of him sitting against the wall for a minute or so. If he doesn't sit against the wall, he gets put into his crib. Before, we used to put him in his crib for timeout all the time, now we can generally just tell him, "Sit against the wall", and he'll do it. Again, it's not a long timeout.
• We never threaten without following through with the threatened consequence. I see this a lot, usually in the parents of misbehaved kids. I was just in Target the other day where a girl that looked like she was about 5 had a screaming fit to get another toy (they already had one in their cart). The dad threatened to put the original toy back if the tantrum didn't stop. It didn't stop, but the original toy didn't go back, either. I know it's easier in the short-term to give in, but long-term, you have big problems.
• This is beginning to be a big one, and I really need to be firm about it - whining. I need to just start treat it as regular misbehavior, and give him a time-out when he does it.

That's it in a nutshell. Either it works really well, or Kenny is just in general a kid that's very easy to get along with.

Why can't kids play outside on their own these days?

I was just reading an article in the paper with yet another comment that went something like this: "Of course, nowadays, you can't just let your kids play outdoors on their own". No explanation of why this is, no commentary that it's a bad thing, nothing. I think it was something to do wtih why kids are getting so heavy nowadays.

Here's my take on it. When I was a kid, we spent whole days outside in the neighborhood, in the woods behind the houses, at other kids houses, etc. It wasn't a problem, and it was fun. Nowadays, what with people being paranoid about one thing or another (child abduction mainly?), letting your kids wander about this way, without knowing exactly where they are and what they're doing, is bad parenting. I think that people are just getting more and more paranoid, and that unreasonable standards of safety are being set.

Why is this? Is it going to change? My son Kenny just turned 2 years old a month ago, and I want him to be able to go to his friends house on his own in a few years, without me being thought of as a bad mother.

I love Target

I was at Target the other day, returning something. I love the place for numerous reasons, but right now I want to rave about their returns. It's such a simple, straightforward process, especially if you bought the item on your credit card. I don't even bother saving my receipts from Target anymore, because all they need is the barcode from what you bought, and the credit card. They'll do a credit to your credit card within seconds, and then you're walking away from the customer service area, thinking, "Jeez, that was easy - why can't all stores be like this?".

I was returning some comforters to Ikea this weekend. There's a lot I like about Ikea, but their returns process are a distant second to Target. They were able to credit my return without a receipt, but they had to know the week that I made the purchase, then went off to a back room somewhere to do look it up on their database. Nowhere near as smooth a process as Target.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

(potential spoilers ahead!)

We went to see the movie last night (I loved the earlier movies!), and I'll admit I was more than a little disappointed. I had almost finished rereading the book, specifically to prepare for the movie, but I may have well not have bothered. They condensed the book so much, and skipped so much, that it really doesn't have much of the flavor of the book.

I'm not saying that I have any ideas on how the director should have done the movie differently. It was a very long book, and in making a movie out of it, I guess lots has to be dropped. Including Luna, darn it - I really liked her! And Dumbledore - his character in the movie was so different from his character in the book. In the movie, after Harry's name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, Dumbledore pushes him against the wall. That was so unlike the Dumbledore of the book, who is gentle and wise.

First post!

I've been thinking about putting up a blog for a long time—writing up notes and ideas in my Palm blog memo, looking at other people's blogs, and wondering how people boost traffic on their blog. Well, time to put my ideas into action. Stay tuned for insightful comments, wishful thinking, product reviews, the latest about what my 2 year old Kenny is doing, and other cool stuff.